Right kind of Wrong
by Sode no Shirayuki1411
Summary: Shouhei Akagi just wants to be her friend, Saburota Bandou just wants to be left in peace. Well then she never should have joined the volatile Red Clan, gotten attached to a King who's burnt himself out and fallen in love with a clan who might never be together again. Now she might finally get her peace and quiet but it might not be all she'd dreamed of. Shouhei x fem!Bandou.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, here's my new story. This one's about Shouhei and fem!Bandou. It's set in the same world as my other genderbent fics but you don't really need to read them to understand this one, which is good because I am so not writing them in order.**

 **That's all guys, hope you enjoy. I own nothing!**

* * *

Chapter 1: Red ribbons

* * *

Saburota Bandou was five.

She was also minding her own business in her own little world that, for perhaps the last time in her life, was peaceful and quiet.

Her peace and quiet was ruined when a small brown-haired boy with a red shirt and bright amber eyes hurled into her and almost knocked her out of her chair.

"Oof!" Said the boy.

"Ow!" Said Saburota.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Bandou adjusted her pigtail which had been mussed when he'd knocked into her and glared at the boy who was now apologizing to her.

"Watch where you're going!" She scolded petulantly, scrunching up her black eyes, not because she was _that_ angry or upset but because, without keeping her head down and away from the bright light, her eyes immediately began to hurt.

The boy however apparently believed she was about to cry, "please don't cry!" He exclaimed loudly, some of the other kids looked over at them.

"I wasn't going to cry!" Said Bandou, equally as loudly, flushing crimson, now everyone was going to think she was a cry-baby thanks to this boy. She stopped squinting to glare at the boy.

He rubbed the back of his head looking slightly ashamed, "I'm really sorry," he said again.

Bandou's bottom lip stuck out slightly as she pouted and scowled, "you've said that already," she pointed out.

The boy rubbed the back of his head again, "yeah, I did didn't I? Um," his mum told him it was always polite to tell people your name, unless they were strange adults, but this girl was making a strange expression but she certainly wasn't an adult. "I'm Shouhei Akagi, nice to meet you," he offered. "What's your name?"

Saburota chewed the inside of her lip for a second before deciding, correctly, that if she didn't give her name the boy, Shouhei, would keep badgering her until she told him. Bandou wasn't always the brightest crayon in the pack but she was one hundred percent right in this case.

"I'm Saburota Bandou," she told him reluctantly.

No matter how hard Shouhei tried, and he tried very, very hard, he couldn't wrap his mouth around Bandou's first name, eventually he wrinkled his nose and gave up.

"How about I just call you 'San-chan'?" He suggested.

A nickname? Bandou's cheeks flooded with colour, no one had ever given her a nickname before, not even her mother. She brushed the strange burst of pleasure aside and frowned, "you can't call me that, we aren't friends!" She said petulantly.

"Well..." Apparently the boy hadn't thought of that, or if he had, he hadn't considered it an obstacle, "how about we be friends then?"

Bandou wrinkled her own nose, "I don't want to be friends with you!" Why would he want to be friends with her?

"Please?" Shouhei begged, he had very big amber eyes that reminded Saburota of a puppy, they made her want to give in to him, which made her not want to be his friend even more.

"No," she said.

Pretty please?"

"No!"

* * *

It had been two years since they first met and, if Saburota Bandou had to, absolutely _had_ to say something nice about Shouhei Akagi, it would be that he was a persistent little brat that was for sure.

And that was about the only nice thing she'd ever say about him, the boy was annoying. All of Saburota's friends didn't think so, they thought he was nice but she couldn't stand him.

He was better than her at everything, which was annoying enough for a start. And he was friendly with everyone; half the time he hung out with them Bandou was sure her friends liked Shouhei better than they liked her.

And he was friendly towards her too, her rejection of his friendship when they were five hadn't stopped him from sticking to her side like a particularly annoying and talkative thorn in her side. Always smiling, always laughing, always kind to her even when she yelled at him to go away, it drove her _crazy!_

And he was better than her at _everything,_ even the things that she was genuinely good at, Bandou wasn't a particularly competitive person, at least not all the time, so if it were just a couple of things she probably wouldn't have cared, but he was better than her at everything and everyone loved him! Eventually Bandou, who was normally apathetic for an seven year old, was being driven mental by the smallest of activities because all of those activities contained one person, Shouhei bloody Akagi. Everything she tried, tennis, volleyball, basketball, all sports, sewing, drawing, painting, anything and everything, if he heard she had signed up for something, he signed up for it too. And he was _always_ better than her at it. Eventually, Bandou snapped.

"Why the Hell are you following me!?" She yelled, slamming her badminton racket down in disgust.

"I heard San-chan had signed up to play badminton," Shouhei said innocently, his usual friendly smile dancing in his eyes and on his mouth, "so I signed up too!"

Over the last two years Bandou had probably tried more different after-school activities than the rest of her year level (minus Shouhei) put together, just to get rid of this guy!

"I got that," she growled, "but _why?"  
_

"Because I want you to be my friend, and I thought if we spent more time together maybe you would want that too," said Shouhei honestly.

"But _why_ do you want to be my friend?" Demanded Saburota.

"Because San-chan is someone worth being friends with," said Shouhei, causing Bandou to stop and stare, no one had ever said that to her before.

Her cheeks reddened, "I don't!" She told him vehemently, "and stop calling me San-chan! It's getting annoying and now other people are doing it too!" She stormed off, making as much noise as her small self could, the instructor hurried after her but Bandou ignored the woman.

Shouhei smiled, San-chan was so cute when she was blushing and she was angry!

* * *

Shouhei did, however, take Saburota's words to heart and left her alone during her after school activities, he quit badminton after their conversations and when he started talking to her in school he would go away if she yelled at him to. He always came back though, but it was still an improvement.

Bandou actually quit badminton not long after Shouhei did, it was lacking something now. A tiny voice in her head asked her if it was lacking _him_ but that was ridiculous! Saburota did not like Shouhei Akagi! They were not friends!

However, Saburota's mother was pushing her to take up another activity, Mrs. Bandou was worried, her daughter was anti-social in the extreme, she had friends but she wasn't particularly close to anybody, she would much rather spend her time alone than with them. Whenever she joined a team or a club or something she at least had another chance to interact with kids her own age aside from school.

The problem was, Saburota couldn't think of any other sports or activities she wanted to try, she'd covered pretty much everything.

She mulled over it for a few weeks before she overheard an older student talking about swimming lessons. Bandou had never tried swimming before, it seemed like fun.

* * *

Unfortunately, or, depending on who you asked, fortunately, when Saburota started lessons, she ran into a familiar face.

"San-chan!" Saburota's back stiffened as she heard the voice. Thanks to Shouhei _constantly_ using that unwanted 'nickname' plenty of people now called her 'San-chan' but only one person had that bright, happy voice when he used her nickname.

"Shouhei?" She noticed he was in a pair of swimming trunks and had a towel tied around his neck like a cape, "what are you doing here?"

"I started taking lessons here at the beginning of the year!" He said brightly.

Oh brilliant.

"What are you doing here San-chan?" Shouhei asked.

"I just started lessons here," Bandou admitted reluctantly.

"Oh," Shouhei smiled before remembering his unspoken promise to leave San-chan alone, "well should I stop taking lessons here then?" He wondered.

Saburota felt herself blush though she wasn't totally sure why, she just seemed to do that whenever she was angry, and Shouhei always made her angry.

"You idiot! You started here first! If one of us needs to leave, it's me! And you didn't _have_ to go anywhere you know," this last sentence was a mumbled whisper. "You could've stayed."

Shouhei was the most sensitive of children but something told him San-chan would get angry again if he made a big fuss over her statement.

So he just smiled hugely and said, "how about we both stay here and learn together?"

Wordlessly San-chan nodded, Shouhei's face broke into a huge smile and he skipped off to his class bidding Bandou a cheery 'goodbye.' For now.

* * *

Having been there since the beginning of the year Shouhei was several classes above Saburota but she surprised herself with the speed with which she caught up, at last, here was something she could do, this was fun, this was easy. Swimming wasn't one of the many things Saburota had achieved a mild level of skill at by months or even years of practice but something she had a natural affinity and love for and by the time she was nine she had caught up with Shouhei and they were in the same class.

Had she been the one who started earlier and he been the one who caught up to her, Saburota thought she would have been upset by him, once again, proving to be better than her at something. But Shouhei wasn't like that at all (maybe because she'd never been better than him at something before?).

On the contrary, Shouhei was thrilled to be in the same class as her and spent more time in the water excitedly yammering to her than he did actually swimming.

It was over this period of time that Saburota was at least semi-honest with herself and admitted she didn't hate Shouhei Akagi, she didn't even dislike him, he was kind of fun, or at least interesting, to be around and his smile always made her want to smile back at him (though she never did of course).

But, being the petulant and contrary little thing she was, Bandou was naturally suspicious of someone who just _refused_ to get mad over _anything,_ seriously, was this kid an angel or something? Saburota spent at least half of her time with Shouhei being rude and snappish in the hopes that he would eventually get fed up and leave her alone.

This wasn't because she disliked him and wanted him to go away; she didn't feel like that anymore, this was because pushing him away, having him get mad and leave her alone, would hurt less than having him realize she definitely was not as amazing as he seemed to believe. Everyone did that eventually, Saburota still had friends now but she wasn't sure how long that was going to last, and none of them, _no one,_ had ever thought she was as amazing as Shouhei did.

However, Shouhei just wasn't getting the hint.

One lesson the instructor decided that they were going to take it in turns to swim the whole length of the pool and back and he was going to time them, and, if they did well enough, both in time and technique, they would get to advance to the next class.

Of course, he didn't actually outright _tell_ them that, probably to avoid disappointing those who didn't do well enough but they all knew how this worked by now.

They went alphabetically by surnames so Shouhei was up first and Bandou was second, Shouhei finished his and the instructor called out his time. Saburota personally thought he'd done really well and instead of envy she felt warm happiness for her friend, because yes, that's what he was. Shouhei would definitely get into the next class.

But there was no way she was telling him that though, Shouhei was excitable enough as it was, if Bandou complimented him he'd probably faint from excitement and drown.

Bandou was up next, she swam quickly but not too quickly as to ruin her technique and when she got back her instructor told her that was 'brilliant.' Then he told Bandou her time. She'd beaten Shouhei by 1.5 seconds.

Grinning Shouhei swam over to her and threw an arm around her shoulders "good job San-chan!" He said happily.

Yeah, he was way too good to hang out with the likes of her. So instead of shouting at him for using the stupid nickname he gave her and for touching her Saburota just turned scarlet and mumbled, "thanks. You too."

It was the least she could do.

* * *

After their lesson Saburota came out of the girls bathroom her towel and bag over one arm, she had to meet her mother in the car park now, but she stopped at the sight of Shouhei sitting on the front steps of the swimming centre, idly staring at the sky.

"What are you still doing here, are you waiting for someone to pick you up?" Bandou asked.

Shouhei looked up at her and smiled and shook his head, "no. I live just there," he pointed at one of the houses opposite the swimming centre, "I was just waiting for you."

"Why were you waiting for me?" Asked Bandou, she didn't give him a chance to answer as water dripped from Shouhei's hair onto his shirt.

"You idiot!" Saburota threw her own towel over his head and began to furiously dry his hair, "you can't just dry your body, you have to dry your hair too! Otherwise you'll catch a cold!"

Shouhei chuckled and sat patiently, "San-chan really is a caring person, isn't she?" He asked softly. Bandou didn't hear him and continued to dry his hair, scolding him all the while.

* * *

"This is stupid," said Bandou, scowling.

Shouhei, who had just turned ten, turned back to grin at her, "it'll be fine, you worry too much."

"I do not, you're just reckless," the girl replied, squinting a bit and raising her hand to cover her eyes, the sunlight was hurting them, "seriously Shouhei, come on, let's go back. I don't want to be part of your idiocy."

"Let's just go swimming for a little bit," Shouhei begged he gave her his biggest smile which he knew would always get him whatever he wanted from her or shouted at.

Bandou huffed, her cheeks dusting pink, he knew, that bastard _knew_ the effect his smile had upon her, he was like an overly energetic Labrador puppy or something!

How was she supposed to say no to that?

"No," like this apparently, "that river's dangerous, you can go swimming there if you want but I'm not going to." She turned on her heel and walked off.

Even though she had walked away from Shouhei, Bandou couldn't get him out of her head or this nauseating, worrying feeling out of her stomach, something was wrong, she could _feel_ it. Her footsteps slowed, then stopped.

She didn't feel right leaving him there without supervision, Saburota's mother was at home and Shouhei's parents were both at work, it was up to _her_ to keep an eye on him.

She turned back around.

That river was dangerous, as she'd said, but knowing Shouhei, which she did, he wouldn't pay any attention to that, he was so reckless.

Bandou ran back to the river, when she got there her blood ran cold.

* * *

Shouhei was drowning. The water seemed to suck the air straight out of his lungs and leave in its place a sense of panic, he couldn't see, he couldn't breathe! He tried to fight his way to the surface but couldn't tell which way was up anymore.

Suddenly his hand broke the surface of the water for a split second; Shouhei could feel the cool air stinging it. He tried to swim in that direction but before he got too far a hand grabbed his and with a huge tug, yanked him out of the water. He popped out of the river like a cork and Saburota grabbed him and yanked him away from the river.

"Shouhei, are you alright?" Bandou asked urgently, he was conscious and breathing at least.

Shouhei took a huge gasp of air and nodded.

Saburota hugged him tightly, "you idiot! You shouldn't have gone in alone, you could have died!" She gave a dry sob, "I so sorry I left you."

Shouhei, his breathing calming down, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her tightly, pressing his face into her long black hair, "thanks San-chan."

* * *

"I got you this," Shouhei dropped a red ribbon into a bewildered Bandou's palm, "it's for your hair." Shouhei looked uncharacteristically serious, "San-chan? Thank you for saving my life."

Bandou's hand closed around the ribbon, "you're welcome."

* * *

Needless to say they both had a slight aversion to water after that, Shouhei quit swimming lessons and Saburota took up the piano instead.

They didn't see each other for almost another ten years.

* * *

 **And there's the first chapter, hope you enjoyed guys, bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Before we get started I would like to thank the wonderful AlexandriaSummer for following! You rock! So you did find my other K stories it seems. And thank you so much for the review, it made me very happy that you liked it!**

 **Another thank you to the lovely Mouse Monkey for following and favoriting, you rock too!**

 **And, of course, a thank-you to my BFF viexon for her review! Yes, they are adorable.**

* * *

Chapter 2: 10 years later

* * *

When she heard his voice again, she froze.

It was totally different, deeper, softer, the joy he found in life expressed in the rich warmth of his voice instead of the high pitched sing-song tone she used to know.

But she never doubted whose voice it was, it still held the same joy with life, even though now, due to where he was and who he was talking to, it was uncertain and quiet, his words still ended at higher pitch than they started in a way that made Bandou want to rip all the hair from her head, still held the same friendliness she'd always admired and despised.

Saburota's skin prickled, no, it couldn't be him, it'd been ten years, and surely, he hadn't come here. Not here, not now.

She turned from where she'd been sitting at the bar with Chitose and Kamamoto. The two of them stared at each other, Bandou wasn't able to entertain the hope that he hadn't recognized her for even a second, with the way his eyes widened she knew he'd recognized her instantly.

"Shouhei?" She was out of her chair and his name was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She couldn't help it. This was the last place she had ever expected to see him.

"San-chan?" He yelped, equally surprised.

And there it was again, that blasted nickname, she'd almost forgotten, but apparently that was still how he thought of her 'San-chan' the nickname he'd given her on the day she'd refused to become his friend.

Even in the five years they'd known each other after that, she never had accepted that offer of friendship.

Shouhei's face lit up with happiness and relief as he looked at her, the happiness she understood, he had always looked damn happy to see her for reasons she had yet to figure out, but it was the relief that bothered her, he was afraid, or at least nervous, what was he doing walking into this –almost literal- lion's den?

Nonononononononono, this could not be happening! _What_ did this idiot think he was doing here?

Oh yeah, that's right, he _didn't_ think, she'd almost forgotten.

Shouhei was going on about what a relief it was to see her and asking her if she was a member of HOMRA, seemingly unperturbed that Bandou wasn't answering and was just staring at him like an idiot.

Bandou could feel her face getting redder and redder by the second and she was acutely aware of the sideways _look_ Yata was giving her.

"What, you know him Bandou?" The redhead asked and Bandou swore she heard Masaomi snicker from somewhere behind her, no doubt seeing Shouhei's glowing face, hearing his overly-familiar nickname and making her own assumptions about how Bandou _knew_ him.

Bitch.

Shouhei moved to sling an arm around her shoulders, almost knocking Bandou to the ground, he was still the same clumsy idiot, that much was obvious. Wait! When had he gotten taller than her?! Oh that was so not fair!

"This girl is my childhood friend!" Shouhei was telling Yata, his face still glowing with relief, "we hung out a lot as kids!" Well Bandou wouldn't call him following her around from sport to sport, activity to activity, 'hanging out' but if those were the words he wanted to use then whatever! He still shouldn't be here.

"And we got along really well!" Shouhei finished.

Bandou gritted her teeth before speaking, "who got along with who?" She demanded, her tone genuinely cold, Shouhei's smile faded.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she regretted them, it wasn't like she wanted to hurt him. But the sooner he left the happier they'd both be. Bandou was just fine with her life now and Shouhei would be far better off.

A person as bright as him belonged in the light, and HOMRA belonged in the shadows.

* * *

Despite Bandou's better judgement –because when had HOMRA ever listened to her?- Shouhei was allowed to meet with the Red King, and despite her misgivings –or heart-stopping terror if that was what you wanted to call it- Shouhei wasn't burned and was accepted into their Clan.

To put it simply, Bandou was furious.

It was like being seven years old all over again, everyone liked him better, he was better at everything, blah, blah, blah.

But that wasn't the worst thing about Shouhei Akagi...

This time though, Bandou had one person who still preferred to stay with her over Shouhei, Masaomi Dewa, Bandou's best friend in the world no question, was in a very similar situation, almost constantly in the company of a bright, sweet young man who everyone flocked to while she sat in the background.

It wasn't quite the same though. Chitose had the same warmth about him as Shouhei did but not the same light, he was darker, less pure, Chitose was a little bit broken inside, just like the rest of them and unlike Shouhei.

And, unlike Bandou, Masaomi was totally in love with Chitose (Saburota she could see what was going on, she had eyes even if they were sensitive) while Bandou found Shouhei exactly the same pain in the neck she had found him ten years ago.

Bandou complained loudly and constantly to anyone who would listen (and several who didn't want to) about Shouhei.

His flaws were annoying, but what was more annoying was how he so constantly occupied her thoughts, she was bringing to think a little of Masaomi's thoughtful nature was rubbing off on her, it seemed like the older woman did precious little _but_ think.

But that wasn't the worst thing about Shouhei Akagi...

Eventually the other members of HOMRA grew tired of hearing about him, Yata started reacting violently, but Bandou didn't stop her tirades. Shouhei seemed determined to come back into her life and stay there whether she wanted him to or not. He was good at being annoying like that.

* * *

One day, a few months after Shouhei had joined HOMRA, Saburota been drinking (probably a little more than she should) at the bar, Miss Totsuka came and sat with her as she lounged on a bus stop, the light rain hitting her face, bringing a pleasant coolness.

"Isn't it cold to sit in a place like this?" She asked softly, coming up behind Bandou and resting her elbows on the back of the seat.

And here was another one who didn't quite fit the HOMRA mould, she too had a warmth that drew people to her, but it wasn't bright and blinding like Shouhei's or friendly like Chitose's it was a quiet sense of comfort that made people feel safe. Possibly because even the daftest person (like Shouhei) could tell that she'd never hurt them. Tatara Totsuka was a pacifist in the most violent gang in Shizume City, and in love with the most volatile man of them all.

Never let it be said opposites didn't attract.

"I just want to sober up," Bandou confessed.

Tatara laughed lightly, "it's true. You drank quite a lot."

She slid around the bench and sat down with Saburota, leaving a small space between them.

Bandou glanced at her but the other woman didn't say anything, she just sat there with her hands shoved in the pockets of her black coat for warmth, her usual peaceful smile on her face and waited.

Eventually, Bandou spoke, "Miss Totsuka, do you think that Shouhei guy is nice?" She almost always called him 'that Shouhei guy' now, except in her head.

"Yeah," Totsuka admitted softly, "even though he's a fellow who loves to make people worry."

Bandou didn't say anything to that but she wondered at what the other woman had said, Totsuka might not be a fighter but her eyes saw more than most and her huge heart and sense of empathy made it chillingly easy for her to deduce other people's feelings, no matter how well they hid them.

However Saburota did think it a bit rich for Tatara Totsuka to be accusing someone else of loving to make people worry, every single member of HOMRA was going to go prematurely grey wondering what trouble she would manage to get herself into next.

Totsuka waited, and waited, eventually Bandou gave up and confessed, she leaned backwards and groaned, sliding down the bench and rubbing a hand over her face, sunglasses and all, "the reason for my annoyance," she confessed, "is that Shouhei is actually a good person. This point of his..." she sighed, the problems Shouhei had managed to get himself into when they were children were nothing compared to the problems he could get himself into now that he had involved himself in her world (and apparently wasn't leaving any time soon).

"You see, as long as someone needs help he'll agree, regardless of what it is," she continued. She rubbed her hand over her eyes so her sunglasses sat askew and she could look up at the grey sky with an uncovered eye, "is he an idiot?" She asked softly.

Totsuka didn't answer she just smiled wider and said, "San-chan really is too petty," her voice kind. She had a habit of talking to other people in third person, as though Bandou wasn't the one she was sitting with.

But San-chan knew what the blonde was really trying to say, and she was really petty for holding Shouhei's kind heart against him.

Feeling dizzy she rolled onto her side, both to abate the nausea and so she wouldn't have to look at Miss Totsuka's face, "anyway..." she went silent for a second. "My tolerance is that low," she admitted, without turning around. "And I'm not some kind of nice person either. So I'm always losing against him." She wasn't even looking but she knew Totsuka was still sitting there with the same patient smile on her face, waiting for Saburota to continue.

She did, "but, what pisses me off the most," the worst thing about Shouhei Akagi, "is that open-minded attitude of his. Even though he has surpassed me in everything... and yet he still treats me like an equal," as though she was someone worth being around, as though being her friend, being close to her was a privilege when Bandou knew it damn well wasn't, not for good people like him anyway.

"Then we have a problem," said Totsuka softly. She stood, "that very same kouhai* who San-chan finds unsatisfying may be fighting a battle alone right now," she told her. "And so what will San-chan do?"

Saburota just sat there for a minute, she knew Totsuka could see what was going on inside of her, if she was anyone else Saburota's face would probably have revealed nothing, but this was Tatara Totsuka and San-chan knew she could tell.

San-chan was experiencing a sensation she'd only ever felt a few times in her life (most of them involving Shouhei), she knew the nausea in her stomach no longer had anything to do with alcohol, she could feel something was wrong, an innate intuition she'd developed as a child and honed with years on the streets, to just _know_ when something was out of place.

Or maybe she was just over acceptable to suggestion.

But she'd seen it. Why had he come to them, Shouhei didn't belong in their world, she'd thought it, said it, screamed it, she knew it was true. And while he'd been friendly to the other members of HOMRA he hadn't genuinely given part of himself over to them in the way that friends did. He was still holding them at arm's length.

The others hadn't noticed, but they hadn't known him before like she had, hadn't known the selfless, bright young child who lightened every room he walked into, he still had that, the brightness, but he was more reserved with whom he bestowed it upon now.

She had thought that it was age, that he'd matured, wasn't as reckless and outgoing as a child. And apparently she'd been so very wrong.

Her hands were balled into fists and her teeth were clenched, when had that happened?

Damn him! Damn that absolute idiot! And damn herself for ever saying Shouhei was selfless, oh sure he would help anyone in need, die happily for those close to him. But that was the bloody problem! He never stopped to think about how others would feel if _he_ died!

Saburota ground her teeth together so hard she was sure she'd shatter something, _that bloody bastard._ Ignoring Totsuka who looked as though she had accurately guessed Bandou's every thought and wasn't at all surprised by them she vaulted off the bench and ran off.

"You idiot!" Bandou's yell was swallowed by the rain.

She was going to find him. And when she did, she was going to punch him in the face herself!

* * *

Even as they lay on the ground Shouhei cursed his own foolishness, why had he ever thought this was a good idea?

Well actually no, he'd known from the beginning that this was a very, very bad idea, possibly the worst he'd ever had. No, definitely the worst he'd ever had. At least jumping into a rushing river without aid or supervision of any kind hadn't meant dragging San-chan down with him.

But even though he was selfish and stupid he'd been glad to have her with him. She had made him realize that the friends he had made in HOMRA were just that, friends, not extra baggage that came along with power. When he'd been dangerously close to losing himself in power, fire and blood she'd pulled him back. And now she was lying on her back, injured, bleeding, broken, all because she'd stuck by him when he'd had no one.

Shouhei wasn't a _total_ idiot, well not all the time, he knew how San-chan viewed herself, in her mind she was someone who barely deserved to have friends, let alone be friends with someone like him.

When in reality Shouhei knew he was the one who didn't deserve a friend like her.

He wasn't blind either, she had her faults, if he had to list them all he'd be here all day, but at the end of the day she was lying on a warehouse floor beaten to a pulp and had known it could come to this, but she'd still tried to help him. He couldn't ask for a better friend.

San-chan was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes, her sunglasses gone and her hair fallen out of its usual bun, her clothes were ripped and there was blood on her face and body, she looked as bad as he felt.

Shouhei didn't know what to do, was this a result of his own conceitedness?

He was lying on his back too, but he was facing her one of his hands resting beside his head. It hurt to even move his wrist but he tilted it slightly until his fingers touched a piece of her hair, it was a clean lock, not sticky with blood, and so soft it felt like liquid between his rough fingers, his hand clenched around it, "...sorry. I got you tangled into this," he whispered. "It was supposed to be my problem, but I accidentally involved you in this."

He swore he _sensed_ rather than saw San-chan grit her teeth, maybe because her next words assured him she had, San-chan always gritted her teeth when she was annoyed, "you idiot!"

His eyes widened.

"You're always... always like this. Like everything goes without saying, easily sacrificing yourself for others..." Oh God, she really did think him selfless, she was the true idiot.

A booted foot appeared from the side of Shouhei's vision, the boot rested gently on San-chan's chin and pushed upwards, much less gently, effectively shutting her mouth, "so freaking loud you piece of shit!" Shouhei felt anger burn slowly through his chest, for crying out loud! She'd been whispering they were no longer any threat; he didn't have to do that! If Shouhei hadn't already known that these men were scum he would have known now.

Shouhei's heart skipped a beat (or several) at the head gangster's next words.

"Kill them."

One of the men stepped over Shouhei, a metal bar raised high, Shouhei's eyes widened, if he died what would happen to San-chan? And poor Saya, they'd come here to save her in the first place, what would happen to her? Shouhei had made a promise to her, he'd sworn he'd rescue her if she got into trouble. What would become of her? Would she suffer the same fate as Shouhei and San-chan, he liked to think they'd spare her. But in the palm of the Rakshaka without any hope of escape or rescue would her life really be any better than death?

Damnit! He'd made a promise! He had to rescue her!

But Shouhei just couldn't make himself move fast enough to evade that blow.

Someone else could though, San-chan threw her body over his, she blocked the metal bar which met her arm with a sickening _crack,_ before collapsing across Shouhei's chest.

"San-chan!" He yelled, terrified. Shouhei had thought he was scared earlier, it was nothing compared to the horror he felt now.

He managed to sit up, he couldn't move for himself but he could do it for her, he caught her as she crumpled against him.

"Didn't I say it earlier?" She gasped. "You... are not alone any more. _Your comrades aren't something that come on the side."_

"What are you saying?" The man standing behind the gagged Saya raised the huge knife he was holding, "so you don't care what happens to this woman?"

"Stop!" Ordered a male's voice, he sounded vaguely familiar.

Fire seemed to explode around the man threatening Saya.

San-chan gave a dark smile, "sorry. I'll leave it to you." She told Izumo Kusanagi and the rest of HOMRA

And then she fainted in Shouhei's arms.

* * *

 **Considering as she's in the rest of the manga, the show, the movie and the other mangas plus this is only chapter 2 of _her_ story, San-chan's probably fine. But still, that can't have been pleasant.**

 **So there's their chapter's in Memory of Red, I hope I did an okay job showing how they felt. San-chan's petty but she's sweet, she's surprisingly easy to write. Shouhei's much harder for some reason.**

 **The next chapter will be the rest of Memory of Red as well as some scenes of my own making, any cute ideas you guys want me to write?**

 **Hope you enjoyed everyone, I hope I'll see you again soon.**

 **Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone, nice to see you again! And an extra special thanks for my extra special friend viexon for reviewing! And yes, I would imagine that would hurt. But this time the manga came up with it, not me. So for once I'm completely blameless.**

 **Hope you all enjoy, I own nothing.**

* * *

Chapter 3: In a different light

* * *

Their recovery was difficult, Izumo called an ambulance and sat with them both while they were patched up. Then Saya took Shouhei home and Izumo put San-chan through a grilling hour long shouted lecture about the fact that she was an idiot, how much she was an idiot, exactly _why_ she was an idiot and how much her idiocy affected HOMRA as a whole and San-chan personally. Then he drove her back home, helped her into her apartment, told her to call if she needed anything and shouted a bit more. He left San-chan with a feeling that, deep down somewhere in his soul, Izumo was proud of her.

When Bandou met up with Shouhei the next night, at that same bus stop where she'd talked to Totsuka, he had a bandage on one cheek and walked with an obvious limp yet he still had that same sunny smile.

He sat down beside her and Saburota and thanked her for saving his life. Through that conversation (and the ghastly moment where he'd actually 'Bandou' the way she'd been telling him to. It just sounded so _wrong_ coming from him) and the conversation that followed, she couldn't keep her eyes off his face.

When they'd finished talking San-chan reached out and took his chin between her thumb and forefinger. Shouhei smiled at her, more toned down than his usual grin, soft and warm. There was no apprehension, no surprise, just trust, complete trust.

"What are you thinking?" Shouhei asked her softly.

He smiled even though he was bruised and battered; he'd been willing to brave a lion's den for power, power to rescue a friend he swore to save, even at the cost of his own life.

Maybe her earlier thoughts had been unfair, Shouhei might be bright, but maybe he looked better in the shadows than she gave him credit for.

She released his chin, "your face is lopsided," she lied, and smiled slightly at his cry of dismay.

* * *

They were out playing baseball, Chitose was batting, Masaomi sat on the bench beside San-chan, they'd both made it back home alright but San-chan was panting, she'd had to sprint from first base to home in one go and outrun Yata as she tried to get San-chan out.

Her hair was slipping; she pulled the ribbon free and let it tumble down her back before piling it back up with the ease of long practice. But before she managed to secure her hair the ribbon slipped between her fingers and pooled on the ground.

With a sigh San-chan reached for it but Masaomi was quicker. She picked up the ribbon and held it up between her thumb and forefinger.

"This is really old," she assured Bandou, holding the tattered piece or red ribbon out to her, "why do you even have it? Wouldn't a hair-tie be easier?"

Only a thousand times easier, "this was a gift from a friend about eight years ago. I'm used to it."

Masaomi's gaze flicked between the ribbon and Shouhei who was out on the field.

"Are you trying to imply he's the only friend I had eight years ago?" Saburota demanded.

Masaomi smirked and pushed her glasses up her nose, "you said it not me," she replied.

San-chan shoved her shoulder lightly, "bitch."

Both women turned their attention back to the game and then yelped and ducked as the ball (thrown by Yata) came pelting towards them. It was just another average day at HOMRA.

(At least it wasn't as bad as the game where Chitose had almost hit a baseball at a Strain assassin who tried to kill him).

* * *

Not too long after that, HOMRA's inner circle gained a new member.

She was a seventeen year old girl who Kouske found unconscious in the rain whose name, they later found out, was Erica Solt.

San-chan didn't really know what to make of Erica, she didn't particularly like or dislike the other female but the most interesting thing about her would probably be the reactions she got from Kouske and Masaomi.

And the fact that she tried to kill Tatara Totsuka.

There'd been something off about Erica from the moment she'd woken. She'd been naturally terrified, to wake up in a strange place with even stranger people surrounding her, then she'd been hostile, but Kusanagi had set her attitude straight (more or less) and Totsuka had assured her she was in no danger... more or less.

But even after Erica calmed down and they decided (more or less) that she'd be staying at HOMRA until they could figure out what to do with her, she still made San-chan uneasy.

She was only ever really rude to Yata, or to Fujishima and Totsuka when they tried to be nice to her, but every time she was in a room with Erica, Bandou could feel her blue gaze on her and the other members, watching, studying, it made her hackles rise.

Truth be told when she heard that Erica had attempted to kill Miss Totsuka, Saburota wasn't all that surprised. She'd always had an agenda that much was obvious.

Shouhei, on the other hand, was shocked and horrified.

"I can't believe she was ever capable of even attempting that," he said sadly, "she seemed so sweet!"

"Sweet?! Are we talking about the same Erica?" Demanded Masaomi aggressively, sipping from her tumbler, Masaomi didn't like Erica, San-chan knew.

Chitose took off her hat to run his fingers through her hair soothingly, she wrinkled her nose but otherwise allowed it.

"What do you think Chitose?" Shouhei asked.

Chitose shrugged, "I think Erica did what she felt she needed to do, we've all done bad things or been ready to do bad things if we felt we had no way out. None of us have lived her life so we can't really judge her."

All three of them looked at him, that was surprisingly insightful for Chitose.

"I dunno," San-chan said to Shouhei later, "maybe Chitose is right. And you especially shouldn't be so quick to judge her, you joined us to get power to overthrow a gang. Erica knew she'd never have the strength to do that, so she waited until we let our guard down and attacked our weak spot, Miss Totsuka, instead of Mr. Mikoto. It was basically the smarter, sneakier version of what you did."

"I wasn't judging her," Shouhei assured his companion, "I just think she should have trusted us."

"Did _you?"_ She retorted.

Shouhei smiled at her, "no. But I thought Erica was smarter than me."

"I think when you've lived a life like she has trust doesn't come easy," said Bandou, she felt sorry for the blonde, not just for the abuse she had endured but because she didn't have someone close to her, Masaomi had Chitose, Chitose had Masaomi and Shouhei and San-chan had each other, well she liked to think so anyway. Until recently Shouhei hadn't been in her life since she'd been ten, but now that he was back, she found she really didn't fancy the thought of him leaving again. He'd filled a hole in her life she hadn't even realized was empty.

Masaomi chose that exact second to walk back into room, her expression like thunder, this was possibly due to the fact that she had spent the last hour talking to Kouske and Erica about stuff she couldn't care less about but probably because Chitose was now sitting at the opposite end of the bar chatting up a pretty blonde woman. She was just in time to hear San-chan's last statement.

"Could we please stop talking about Solt?" She growled, "I have had _enough_ of talking about blonde women I couldn't possibly care about!"

Shouhei's eyes flicked from the blonde at the bar with Chitose and back again, ah, he was beginning to catch on.

"Look," he began, "we've had a stressful couple of months, Chitose was attacked, Totsuka was attacked, the Blues are being... the Blues. How about we get out of here for a few days? Just us three and Chitose? We'll go on a road trip or something!"

San-chan and Masaomi glanced at each other, the request was odd, not something they would usually do together and totally out of the blue. Yet they found themselves actually considering it.

Eventually Masaomi's common sense prevailed, "the four of us stuck in a car together for days? No thank you."

Shouhei pouted, then brightened again, "well how about we go camping? I know this great place that's just a few hours away. It'll be fun!"

San-chan and Masaomi glanced at each other again, "the four of us stuck together at a campsite for days-" She began.

"Just say yes," San-chan muttered, "or he'll keep suggesting things, this is probably the best we're gonna get."

"Okay then," said Masaomi meekly.

 _She gave in very easily,_ thought San-chan, and then she realized what she had done, they now had to go camping with Chitose and Shouhei.

San-chan felt horrified but Masaomi did seem to be, "I've never been camping before," she said, she actually seemed pleased.

Well that explained why she'd given in so easily. "So," asked Shouhei brightly, "when do we leave?"

* * *

The first day, they went fishing. Apparently there was a small river beside the camping area, this was not one of Shouhei's better ideas. San-chan and Chitose took to fishing rather well and spent the whole day chatting amiably while they reeled in the occasional fish, most of them were too small to bother keeping but that wasn't the point. Masaomi had brought a book and spent a peaceful day reading by the lake, chipping into the conversation and catching an occasional fish.

Shouhei, who had the attention span of a five year old, spent the majority of his day bored out of his brains and lying flat on his back and mumbling to himself about how bored he was. San-chan caught him eyeing the river speculatively a few times as if he had a mind to go swimming, he had learnt his lesson last time (even though he was older, stronger and this river was much shallower with a weaker current) and he never brought up the subject.

That night the roasted marshmallows over a campfire (they tried once or twice with matches, gave up and used their powers), made s'mores and tried telling ghost stories. However they gave up immediately after they realised they knew approximately three quarters of a ghost story between the four of them.

But it was still a fun evening, the four of them talking and laughing and feeling as though they were the only people in the world.

The next day was mostly spent walking and enjoying the sights of the forest area or, in Masaomi's words; seeing how lost they could get themselves in six hours.

The answer was very, very lost, it was a blessing that they decided to turn back when they did because it took them nearly as long to find their campsite and they wasted a whole day. Still, it was an accomplishment, managing to get so lost, all four of them, with absolutely no idea where they were or which direction they'd come from, each and every one of them.

The next day none of them were inclined to wander far, Chitose slept in, Masaomi, bored with reading, went to fish again. Once upon a time the brunette had been an avid reader but since she left home much less so. Saburota was surprised to have seen her read twice in two months.

San-chan and Shouhei ended up lying on their backs on a grassy knoll, staring up at the bits of blue sky they could see through the trees, "I've missed you the past few years San-chan," said Shouhei, eyes following a bird as it flitted through the trees.

Bandou arched an eyebrow, she can't imagine why he would, "really?" She asked sceptically.

Shouhei rolled onto his side so he was facing her and San-chan felt obligated to do the same, rolling to face him and propping herself up on one elbow, "yes really," he assured her.

Crap, he was doing that thing with his eyes again, they were still as warm, as kind, but they weren't as light and dazzling, instead they were soft and intense, like he wasn't smiling at the world anymore, just at her.

He reached out with the hand that wasn't beneath his head and brushed her cheek with his thumb, "did you miss me too, San-chan?"

The spot where Shouhei's hand was resting tingled and Saburota's heart beat faster, her instincts told her to brush his hand aside, maybe swat him on the head and tell him no, absolutely not, her years apart from him were the most peaceful of her life. Which was only half the truth. They certainly were the most peaceful, she had actually missed him.

"Maybe," she heard herself say.

Surprise flickered in Shouhei's eyes, she thought maybe he'd expected her to swat him away and tell him she hadn't missed him too.

Then he smiled, one of his bright, happy smiles and her erratically beating heart skipped one beat, his thumb moved to slide over her lower lip, "yes or no answer San-chan," he breathed moving his face closer to hers until they were inches apart, "did you miss me?"

"Yes..." She admitted, a familiar Shouhei-inspired blush rising to her cheeks. She was uncomfortable admitting feelings, especially benevolent ones, she wanted to turn her head away but found she couldn't break eye contact.

Shouhei gave her one of his gentle smiles, "I'm glad I found you again," he whispered.

When Shouhei leaned towards her San-chan didn't move, their lips brushed...

"Okay! Okay! OKAY! I'm up! I'm up!" They both jumped and scrambled to their feet, hearts pounding, they glanced over at their friends, it was Chitose who had yelled, Masaomi was dragging him out of his tent by his ankles.

"You should be! It's past midday!" She scolded, she glanced over at Shouhei and Bandou, "we should start packing up and get going; I have to work tonight," she frowned, "are you both alright? You look... frazzled."

Shouhei gave a self-conscious laugh and ran a hand through his hair before picking his cap up off the ground and putting it back on, "yeah, we're fine." His eyes slid over to Saburota, "we're fine right?" He asked, a note of uncertainty entering his voice.

Bandou nodded wordlessly. Had Shouhei, _Shouhei,_ really just tried to kiss her? _Shouhei?!  
_

Yeah, sure, totally fine.

Masaomi raised an eyebrow.

As they walked past the brunette pair San-chan heard Chitose tell Masaomi that, for someone so intelligent, she was a complete idiot. Bandou quite agreed.

* * *

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

A redhead and a little girl walk into a bar:

They have a horse with them.

...

Not funny? No, Mr. Kusanagi didn't think so either.

Shouhei hadn't even known what a Strain was and now he was supposed to accept that there were animals with strange powers, powers unlike those given to a Clansman by a King, powers that allowed a perfectly ordinary brown horse to turn pure white, grow wings, and fly off with HOMRA's Princess on its back.

They all fought to recapture the horse and save Anna, even the Blue Clan Shouhei had heard very little about played a part. San-chan got kicked in the face by the horse, Basashi, as she tried to stop him escaping with Anna. Shouhei didn't think he'd ever admired San-chan as much as he had at that moment.

* * *

As she lay there, her head, covered in bandages like a mummy, resting on Shouhei's leg, his hand on her shoulder, San-chan admitted to herself that, although things certainly could have gone better, they could have been much worse.

They'd gotten Anna back. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

San-chan didn't know when she'd noticed that Miss Totsuka and Mr. Mikoto were an item. She didn't think there was actually a specific moment, she just slowly became aware of how close the two appeared, of how calm he was around her and how her eyes lit up when she was around him.

She wasn't entirely sure when they'd gotten engaged either, she'd just one day noticed a simple silver band around the second smallest finger of Totsuka's left hand as she made an exaggerated gesture while telling a story, her pretty face alight. And when Bandou had looked she saw an identical band around Mr. Mikoto's finger.

But she knew exactly where she was when Mr. Izumo called her in the middle of the night and broke her world in half with two simple words.

"Tatara's dead."

He offered to be the one to tell Shouhei, her voice, body and mind numb, Saburota refused. She had to be the one to tell him. She just had to. She went to his apartment right then.

Shouhei was more open with his emotions than her, he cried when the news finally set in. Saburota didn't even think, she dropped her petty attitude like a hot coal and hugged him tightly; he rested his head on her shoulder and turned his face into her thick hair to muffle his sobs.

San-chan just hugged him tighter and wished she could do more for all of them.

But she couldn't

* * *

 **Noooo! Totsuka! Too good for this sinful Earth, I say.**

 **Tell me what you think guys. Hope you enjoyed, see you next time.**

 **Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Many thanks to Pandakat312 for following and favoriting, you are AWESOME!**

 **Hope you enjoy guys, bye!**

* * *

Chapter 4: Say

* * *

Shouhei was the one who found her, the girl with the white hair who had killed Miss Totsuka, San-chan caught up with the others later but by that stage Yata, Shouhei and Izumo had all made attempts on the white-haired demon's life and she'd not only survived all of them, the first two unassisted, but acquired herself a powerful protector in the form of Kuroh Yatogami, the 'Black Dog.'

If it hadn't been obvious before that this female was no ordinary girl it would have been obvious by then, she didn't seem to posses any special powers of her own or if she did; she hid them well, but she had escaped three attempts on her life, all of which had caught her unawares.

Shouhei had worried only a little about feeling guilt; he had known as well as any of them what he was getting himself into, that, if they had their way, this was going to end in straight-up murder. Or, as they liked to think of it, retribution. He hadn't thought the murder would weigh too heavily on his conscience, it was obvious from _that video_ that whoever this kid was, she was quite clearly not human but a monster in human form, anyone who could laugh so insanely and then turn around and shoot an innocent woman and stand above her while she bled out and gloat was not someone Shouhei had thought he would feel any remorse about putting down like the animal she was.

No, that wasn't quite right, she wasn't an animal, animals killed for food or in defence, there was no other creature than humans that killed simply for the pleasure of watching something die. Still, even after having that thought, Shouhei maintained that there was something about the Colourless King that wasn't quite human. She was a stain on the earth and she needed to be removed.

But that girl... Shouhei half wanted to believe the girl he had seen walking down on the street below while he was eating lunch and the girl in the video tape were two different people. It was ridiculous, he knew, how many girls in a green uniform with big brown eyes and short _white_ hair could there be? But he just couldn't reconcile one with the other.

The girl he'd chased after, tried to kill, had been petrified, she'd run from them like a startled rabbit, not like a King, and as he swung the metal pipe at her a terrified scream had torn itself from her lips. Shouhei had tried to convince himself that she was acting, that she'd been trying to make him doubt himself (exactly as he was doing now) or make him or the others around him feel sorry for her, turn _her_ into a victim and them into the bad guys. It wouldn't have been very hard, they'd been a group of grown men (and one woman) chasing after a teenage girl, one who was small, slender, pretty and obviously very frightened, even if people wouldn't want to oppose HOMRA they'd instinctively want to protect her.

It was a good plan, but there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind that asked him; what if that wasn't what she was trying to do at all? What if she really was terrified?

Because as she'd jumped off the back of that Ute Shouhei had caught a glimpse of the emotions in the Colourless King's eyes. Pure, unbridled fear. And not only that, confusion, she hadn't understood why they were chasing her. One minute she'd been going about an ordinary day when he'd first seen her, from what Shouhei could tell, and then the next she'd been running for her life. He gritted his teeth as he peeked in the bar, it was well past midnight and the bar was shut but, unable to sleep, his feet had carried him here.

The light was still on inside though and he saw Mr. Kusanagi polishing a glass while Yata sat at the bar, her head propped up on one hand, her legs drawn up. Shouhei kept walking, they had the look of people with no wish to be disturbed and though Shouhei would love some company right now, he respected that.

But seeing the two of them there, as sleepless as he was, re-kindled the burning fury he'd felt upon finding out what had happened to Tatara.

Who cared if the Colourless King was scared?! _She_ obviously hadn't cared about how Totsuka had felt as she'd lain dying from a bullet wound.

And if she was confused as to why they were after her she had no right to be! Shouhei didn't believe for a second that Tatara had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Colourless King had known exactly who she was to the Red Clan, maybe even to the Red King himself. She had known that HOMRA would come after her with everything they had, regardless of who, where or what she was. And if she hadn't known that, she should have.

They'd find her and they'd kill her. That was all there was to it. She didn't deserve any mercy. She certainly hadn't shown Tatara any.

His phone, which out of habit he'd grabbed when he'd left, buzzed in his pocket.

 **Can't sleep?** San-chan had texted him. **  
**

He blinked wearily, puzzled, no, he couldn't sleep. But how had she known that?

She sent him a new message, **Look up.**

He did so and San-chan, leaning out of her window, waved at him and motioned for him to come up.

He did so, shaking his head at himself. Of course. He'd been wandering aimlessly and his feet had taken him to HOMRA, then, when he'd passed that, they'd taken him to the next instinctive place to go, San-chan's place. He guessed he wasn't really surprised.

Her door was open when he got there, he let himself in and shut it behind him. As quiet as he was the noise echoed in the silent apartment. Like a gunshot.

"What are you doing up? Couldn't sleep either?" He asked her.

Like him San-chan had dressed for bed, she was wearing a knee-length black nightgown and her hair was loose but also like him she had obviously found the endeavor fruitless and gotten back up since there was no trace of drowsiness on her face, just a bone-deep tiredness was affecting all of them.

"Apparently not," said Bandou with a slight roll of her eyes, "I was just looking out my window when some crazy man wandering around in the middle of the night caught my eye from below. What are you doing here?"

Shouhei shrugged, "dunno, just couldn't sleep, started walking, ended up here, muscle memory I suppose."

San-chan looked down at his feet and sighed, "I thought it was just my imagination but it turns out I was seeing the truth. _Why_ are you out wandering the streets, at night, in January while _barefoot?"  
_

Shouhei looked down, his toes were turning blue, "oh. I didn't even notice."

San-chan sighed and shook her head, she sat down on the couch, motioning for him to sit with her. Shouhei hesitated for a second, then took the seat right next to her, drawing his feet up to his body so his body heat warmed them. With a sigh that sounded more habitual than resigned or irritated, San-chan leaned against his side. They stayed like that for a short while, then slowly Saburota let her Red aura warm the air around them, helping thaw out Shouhei's chilled body.

Shouhei relaxed, he hadn't realized how cold he was until he started getting warmer. He was a member of HOMRA also but staying out in the cold like that any longer would not have been good for him, as under-dressed as he was.

As he thawed the tension drained out of him until he could barely keep his eyes open, Shouhei let his head droop onto San-chan's shoulder.

"What are we going to do about the Colourless King?" He asked sleepily.

"We're going to find her and we're going to kill her, that's the only way to be sure Tatara's avenged and that no one else ends up the same way."

Shouhei burrowed his face into her soft hair, "yeah, you're right."

They had to do this.

* * *

If Shouhei had been uneasy at the idea of killing a seventeen year old murderer he thought he would be most displeased at the idea of breaking into a school filled with hundreds of perfectly innocent teenagers who _weren't_ murderers. It should have most upset him. It didn't particularly.

This had gone on long enough. HOMRA was ready to settle this, one way or the other, they weren't here to hurt these kids and once they found what they'd come here for they'd leave. Shouhei felt bad for frightening them but it was an emotion easily pushed aside.

The real trouble with his conscience came when they began checking classrooms. It wouldn't have been so bad if they were here looking for a teenage _boy,_ but a teenage girl was a different matter entirely.

Shouhei wasn't trying to say boys had any less right to fear for their lives than girls because they had every right. But boys and girls feared different things instinctually. And now that they were actively checking each girl's face they were being lined up, dragged, sometimes almost literally, into the hall and stared at he couldn't imagine there being one girl who _wasn't_ terrified.

Except the Colourless King. Psycho.

But because of this Mr. Kusanagi had decided earlier that it would be the female members of HOMRA who did the room to room checks, they were less likely to scare the students.

The only problem with this was that HOMRA had precious few female members and one of them, Yata, was on lookout duty. So it was slow going.

Just then Mr. Kusanagi's voice sounded overhead, coming from the speakers, telling the members of HOMRA that the Blues had arrived.

* * *

Bandou had never kept a diary for a day in her life.

If she had however, she would have loved to begin an entry with 'after the battle at Ashinaka High School.'

But there never seemed to be an 'after.' The despair went on and on, after Mr. Mikoto died, HOMRA split, some stayed close, some didn't.

Yata, to no one's surprise, stayed close. She and Rikio tried to help Mr. Kusanagi out a little, watching over the bar and/or keeping Anna company when he couldn't.

San-chan didn't know what degree of success the pair of them had at things like tending bars and watching pre-teens, but their efforts meant far more than any actual accomplishment.

Chitose and Masaomi both vanished, San-chan wanted to say she didn't blame them but she knew she was petty; she did kind of blame them.

But Masaomi and Chitose were together now, they were starting a new chapter in their lives. It made sense for them to walk away now that the old one had ended.

Only problem?

It damn well hadn't. Not completely, not for any of them.

Erica had nowhere else to go and Kouske was like San-chan, they'd both been at this too long to just walk away.

But Shouhei? San-chan wasn't too sure. He'd seemed very upset at any and all suggestion of HOMRA splitting up. But now? She just wasn't sure.

She saw him occasionally, sometimes they even worked at HOMRA together, but overall she saw even less of him than she did the others. They were slipping apart and he was slipping away.

* * *

Then Anna was kidnapped.

It couldn't have possibly happened at a worse time (which was probably why it _had_ happened now), Mr. Kusanagi was in Germany, Yata wasn't speaking to any of them and HOMRA was all but well and truly disbanded.

So very almost-disbanded that San-chan and Shouhei hadn't even known Anna had been kidnapped until it was over.

The tattoos on Shouhei's left bicep and above San-chan's navel burned as they returned; they looked at each other, then wordlessly raced out the door. On instinct they looked up at the sky and in the distance they saw two huge, shining Swords of Damocles hanging over the building San-chan knew belonged to the Gold King.

One sword was blue and glittering and didn't seem as bright as the other one.

Which was a deep and shining red.

* * *

Saburota wasn't sure; she just didn't know how to say what she wanted to. Expressing herself had always been a problem of hers, she would try to show she was thankful, she would wind up looking sulky and ungrateful, she would try to show she was happy, she would come off looking insane, or at the very least ill.

San-chan rubbed the edge of her thumbnail against her finger where it created a pinkish line, which kind of hurt but was far better than looking up at Shouhei.

"I'm surprised I caught you," San-chan admitted. "You're usually working."

"I'm sorry, I wish I'd been there more, I just... I dunno," he looked miserable, San-chan's heart lurched. See! This was exactly what she had been talking about! She wasn't trying to make him feel guilty, she was simply stating that he'd been working a lot. Geez!

Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe it was everyone else.

Probably not. Anyway, "you drifted away Shouhei, we all did. But we're back now. Most of us."

Bandou had been more or less right before. Kouske, Erica, Yata, Kamamoto and Izumo had all stuck by Anna. Masaomi and Chitose had made it clear they'd be there for Anna every step of the way, but their intent to return to HOMRA was far less clear.

Shouhei was much the same, he had enthusiastically supported Anna as the Red King but didn't seem like he had any intentions of actually returning as a member.

San-chan's heart thudded in her chest. They would still be friends, he would always be their friend, hers especially, but it still left a bad feeling in her mouth. Was he really thinking of leaving them? Of leaving _her?_

She wanted to ask him but he obviously felt guilty already, she wouldn't play with his emotions to make him stay if he had really decided to leave.

But she was damn well going to try and say what was on her mind before he did, even if it did make her sound like a bumbling idiot.

"Thank you," San-chan said, blushing, she didn't mind thanking people but Shouhei always seemed to be different, thanking him or expressing affection in any verbal way always made her feel embarrassed. She supposed over ten years of trying to act as childishly mean to him as she possibly could had hardwired her to react that way.

Shouhei stared at her, amazed, as though San-chan had just confessed to a lifetime wish to be an astronaut so she could tap-dance on Mars. He looked dumbfounded.

Damn! Was she really _that_ ungrateful? His jaw was practically on the floor.

"For what San-chan?" He shut his mouth and gave her one of his warm smiles.

"For being my friend," she said honestly, "even when I said I didn't want you to. I was lying. Even to myself. I've always wanted you to. I just didn't want to admit it."

Shouhei gave her an impish grin, "I don't mean to boast but; I know that San-chan."

Bandou hit him on the arm, her face felt like it was on fire.

Shouhei grabbed her hand and held it in one of his, he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles idly but his touch burned. "You aren't a very good liar San-chan. It's like your every thought is written across your face."

"Oh yeah? What am I thinking right now?" San-chan challenged.

"I'm really embarrassed about being nice to Shouhei and I really hope he doesn't actually guess what I'm thinking," said Shouhei promptly.

There were a few seconds of silence between them. "I hate you," San-chan said, making Shouhei smile.

"But you don't need to thank me for being your friend San-chan, I've always known you were a wonderful person, even if you didn't." Shouhei said, taking her other hand. San-chan's heart began to beat rapidly and she knew this had nothing to do with embarrassment.

"But I'm not a wonderful person," she admitted softly, "but... thank you... for thinking I am."

Shouhei cupped her cheek in one hand the way he had during their almost-kiss when they went camping what seemed like a millennia ago.

"I think you're pretty perfect too," San-chan admitted honestly, hey! It turned out if she didn't think before she spoke she would only feel embarrassed afterwards! Not before too! Interesting. But probably not a path she wanted to go down. If she stopped thinking before she spoke she would start sounding like Yata.

That was definitely something to avoid!

Shouhei's hair had lightened since their childhood, it used to be a dirty blond, almost brown, but now, possibly due to all his time in the sun, it had lightened to the colour of the straw, it glinted in the light as he pulled his hat off and tossed it on his worn-out couch and ran his fingers through the messy strands as he often did whenever he was agitated or thinking hard about something. Or both.

"Thanks San-chan," he smiled at her again, "I have no idea where you got this idea that I'm so wonderful but thanks anyway."

He leaned down slightly, giving Saburota time to pull away if she wanted to, but she didn't.

Shouhei's mouth touched hers, and a tingling sensation spread from Bandou's lips to the tips of her toes. She leaned forwards, Shouhei did too, at first, but after a second he pulled back, looking regretful.

"Sorry San-chan," he said, "but I don't think I'm coming back to HOMRA."

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed guys. Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone. Here is the last chapter. Hope you guys enjoy. I own nothing. Also, could you please read the Author's Notes at the bottom of the page? I know it's very long but I would really appreciate it.**

* * *

Chapter 5: Confessions

* * *

Saburota was miserable.

She stared moodily into the glass on the bar in front of her.

Masaomi sat down next to her with a sigh, bouncing her six-month old daughter Ayame on her lap; it had been months since Anna had become the Red King and Shouhei had decided to walk away from HOMRA and Masaomi had never seen her friend like this.

"You seriously need to snap out of it," she said quietly, her low voice barely seemed to break the silence in the empty room.

Bandou smiled slightly, "I'm not sulking," she assured her best friend, pushing the glass away from her, "I just haven't had anything to get excited about. Ever since Erica and Kouske stopped being idiots and got together my life has been very peaceful and quiet." The two things she'd always wanted most in her life. She hated it.

Masaomi glared at her, "I spent _six and a half years_ trying to put Chitose back together after his heart was broken. I am not going to sit here and watch the same thing happen to my best friend because of Shouhei f-" she glanced down at her tiny daughter and censored her next word, "-freaking Akagi!"

Masaomi's own chest twisted in pain, she adored Shouhei too, she and Chitose had also considered walking away from HOMRA, especially after Ayame was born but they'd known themselves too well to actually think it was a real possibility. Shouhei was the last person they'd expected to walk out of their lives.

Hadn't they already lost enough?

"I know what you're thinking. But this isn't about Shouhei, I miss him, sure, but he didn't want to stay. Who was I to try and make him?" Saburota reached over and plucked Ayame off of Masaomi's lap and stood her on her own jean-clan legs, the baby's tiny shoes making slight scuffling sounds on the rough fabric, "who needs Shouhei anyway?" She asked the baby girl. Ayame was the first child ever born to the inner circle of HOMRA and absolutely everyone adored her, but the baby especially adored Saburota, her favourite aunt.

Ayame reached out and took Bandou's sunglasses, Bandou let her take them and the small girl sat quietly on her lap as Saburota addressed Ayame's mother again, "seriously. I miss Shouhei. We all do. He was my friend, _our_ friend. But we'll survive without him. Like I said; who was I to make him stay or ask him to come back?"

"You are his best friend and the only woman he's ever loved," Masaomi said flatly, _"that's_ who you are. You keep saying that this is what Shouhei wants and maybe that's true. But maybe it isn't? Have you ever checked? You can't just give up and walk away can you?! Cuz believe me, giving up and ignoring how you're feeling doesn't help anyone." She laced her hands together in front of her, "forget what Shouhei wants for a minute, what do _you_ want?"

"I want him to come back," said Saburota slowly, this wasn't news to her, she had wanted Shouhei to come back the second he had left, but only now was she really considering the reasons behind her reaction. Yes, he was her friend, but he was Masaomi and Chitose and Yata and Kamamoto and Kouske and Erica and Izumo's friend too and they missed him. But not like she did.

She still spoke to Shouhei occasionally, but it wasn't the same, and they both knew it.

"Then be selfish. Tell Shouhei that. You say you think this is what Shouhei wants but I don't actually think you believe that. If nothing else you two deserve the chance to be honest with each other. And... tell him you love him. He can't read your mind Bandou, you need to tell him."

Masaomi stood before handing Bandou back her sunglasses and taking back her daughter, "and Ayame's _my_ baby. You want one, get your own," she said as she left the room.

 _That_ broke through San-chan's melancholic mood, she laughed, "that'll be the day," she called after her friend.

She sat at the bar for a few minutes after that, thinking. If Shouhei really did want to no longer be a part of HOMRA then she had no right to try and drag him back.

But what if Shouhei did want to come back and just wouldn't make the first move? His contact with the members of HOMRA, save Bandou, was pretty much non-existent and even they rarely talked. He could believe that they no longer cared if he came back or not.

Normally Saburota would protest that no member of HOMRA was stupid enough to believe his Clansmen, his friends, wouldn't care if he walked away but hey, this was Shouhei Akagi she was thinking about.

But she wasn't in love with him! No, that would be silly! Saburtota would have realized if she was in love with him by now! She didn't have _that_ little self-awareness!

She stood, Masaomi was half right though; she had to at least talk to him. If he heard everything she had to say and still didn't want to return to HOMRA then she would never bother him about it again. But if he did want to come back...

San-chan placed her sunglasses back on her face and headed out the door.

* * *

It was Saturday so Shouhei would be at a fairly well known bar, Saburota knew, not HOMRA, that would just be too easy, and if she saw him that often there wouldn't be any problems. But a _different,_ yet fairly well known bar. He liked to frequent this one on Saturdays because of the influx of young people it had on weekends.

Unlike Bandou, who was hideously anti-social, Shouhei loved to mingle.

She was hardly dressed for a night out and stood out like a sore thumb, with a sigh Saburota took off her sunglasses (she had just gotten those back!), blinking slightly, the room wasn't that brightly lit anyway but it was not as dim as it had been with her glasses and her eyes were still getting adjusted, she found she didn't care for the light at all. Actually, she didn't care for any of this at all.

Her hat followed as she pushed back her hood, Bandou then yanked the red ribbon that held up her hair out, allowing it to tumble down her back.

Now she looked like a semi-ordinary young woman and already wanted to leave, actually, she had wanted to leave before she got there, but now she _really_ wanted to leave.

She wove through the crowd, looking for a shock of straw-blond hair, she found him by the bar, there weren't many people with straw-blond hair.

But Shouhei wasn't alone.

It wasn't much of a shocker to see Shouhei with company, he was one of the nicest, most social people she knew, he could strike up a conversation with a brick wall.

No human, not even a complete stranger or someone as anti-social as she was, stood a chance.

But this looked different.

The tiny brunette leaned forward, an enchanting smile on her face, Shouhei looked as charmed as she did, leaning down to talk to her, a wide smile on his face, his drink forgotten by his elbow.

Bandou's heart gave a funny lurch. Then Shouhei leaned down in a gesture so familiar, because he had done it to San-chan a thousand times, and brushed a lock of hair out of the young woman's eyes.

The strange twisting feeling in her stomach became a dull, hollow ache. She backed away.

What was she doing here? Why had she thought this was a good idea? Shouhei was completely fine without them, without _her.  
_

Well why wouldn't he be? Shouhei was a smart (book-wise), well-adjusted, semi-responsible, kind and determined adult. He was obviously getting on with his life and having fun doing it. He didn't need them and he didn't need her. Not the way she needed him.

The young woman smiled up at Shouhei as he said something to her, her big brown eyes alight, he smiled back and she giggled.

Bandou backed away, when she couldn't see them through the press of bodies she turned and walked out, she didn't stop walking until she was at the bus stop by HOMRA, then she sank down onto the bench, mouth trembling.

Who had she been trying to fool?

* * *

"And what's the matter with you now?" Said a curt, slightly rough voice Saburota was very familiar with.

"Nothing, I'm just considering what time I should go to Shouhei's house, I'm going to talk to him," the way she said 'talk to him' told Erica that this wasn't a social call, San-chan was finally going to address the issue of Shouhei not being in HOMRA. And maybe the teensy-weensy issue of him being in love with her and her being in love with him. Maybe. San-chan had a habit of being distracted, Erica knew.

"You look depressed," she said blankly, "you've been looking depressed ever since Shouhei decided not to come back but now it looks like your dog just died or something." And Erica, who had been living with San-chan for quite a while a few months back, was quite aware she didn't actually own a dog.

"And Masaomi said you were going to talk to Shouhei yesterday. I'm guessing you ran into trouble?" Erica leaned forwards slightly and pulled Bandou's sunglasses down a centimetre or two, revealing her dark eyes and the equally dark circles under them. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

San-chan swatted her hand away gently, "yes I did." No she didn't. "And I don't know what you're talking about, I'm not depressed, I'm fine." Her heart hurt.

"But yes, I was unsuccessful at talking with Shouhei last night. But I did see him. It's quite obvious to me that Shouhei doesn't need-"

She couldn't finish that sentence with 'us anymore,' it just seemed too cruel, an unnecessary rudeness to someone she cared for, "me." She finished, "he doesn't need me anymore."

But her plan to get him to come back to HOMRA was still on. They were a family, they needed to stick together. He might not _need_ them to survive but they were still a part of his life! And even if he didn't want her the same way she wanted him. She'd deal... eventually.

Erica smacked the back of her head, "I don't know what you were thinking just now but stop it!"

"I was thinking that I thought Shouhei liked me and I was wrong," San-chan admitted, "I'm kind of embarrassed."

"I don't think you were wrong," said Erica, "Weren't you two going to talk things out?" She shoved Bandou at the door, "give him a chance."

* * *

San-chan braced herself and knocked on the door.

"Just a second!" She heard Shouhei's voice yell from somewhere in the depths of his apartment.

Bandou waited patiently and soon the door swung open.

Shouhei stood there; he'd quite clearly just gotten out of the shower. He was fully-clothed but smelled of soap and his shirt was steadily getting wetter and wetter from the water that dripped from his undried hair onto the white material. There was a towel over one arm.

For just a second, looking at his hair plastered down on his head and water running down his neck Shouhei didn't look like a man in his early twenties, he looked like the little boy Saburota had pulled out of the river.

Then his smile lit up his face and for a second he just stared, then he blinked and seemed to snap out of it, "San-chan! Come in!"

He stepped aside and she walked in, just then a cool breeze blew through the apartment from the open window in the kitchen, making them both shiver, it was only February and the days were still cool.

San-chan kicked the door shut behind her, "you idiot!"

She grabbed the towel on Shouhei's shoulder and began to furiously dry his hair, "when are you going to learn?! You might have special powers but that does _not_ make you the Silver King! You! Are! Not! Immortal!"

Shouhei chuckled quietly and the towel in Saburota's hands began to warm, Shouhei was drying himself by slowly by warming himself with his Red Aura.

San-chan scrubbed at his head again with the towel, "you'll get dandruff if your hair dries while it's still plastered to your head like that!" She scolded.

"Can't have that," Shouhei agreed indulgently, making San-chan scowl at him, causing him to smile again.

They stopped and stared at each other, San-chan's hands still on top of Shouhei's head and his Aura still surrounding his body.

Shouhei grinned again, "I was about to comment that this was just like that time when you dried my hair when we were kids. But this really isn't anything like that time, is it?"

"Well, you certainly couldn't do that back then," said Bandou, nodding at the fire surrounding Shouhei.

"No, I couldn't. Thank goodness. Can you imagine the sort of trouble I would've gotten myself into if I could?" He asked.

San-chan had a sudden, vivid mental image of a nine year old Shouhei running around with _fire powers._ She shuddered.

"Yes I can," she assured him, grimacing.

He wrinkled his nose in agreement, then the two of them seemed to snap out of their little bubble. San-chan withdrew her hands and the towel from Shouhei's head and Shouhei crossed the room to the little kitchenette and shut the window with a 'thunk.'

"It's nice to see you again... it's, ah, been a while," said Shouhei, shoving his hands into his pockets. He was aiming for casual but to Bandou he just came off looking uncomfortable.

Awkward. He seriously looked awkward around her. San-chan couldn't remember that ever happening before. Ever. Except maybe the first time they had ever met as children when he had nearly knocked her over, before they got to know each other, before they became friends, a lifetime ago.

"So, uh, what brings you here? Is there something you wanted?" Shouhei asked, still trying for nonchalance.

Bandou blinked, "excuse me?" She said before she could stop herself. Had she _ever_ needed a reason to visit Shouhei before?

Shouhei seemed to read her mind, "not that you need a reason to visit, I was just wondering." He added hastily. Making Saburota smile, it was like he could read her mind, but then she remembered, he basically could, she wore her every thought on her face. And he could read her every expression.

Then she hesitated, "I do have a reason," she admitted, "but it can wait. How have you been?"

"Uh," now Shouhei was the one hesitating, "okay, I guess." But ' _just_ 'okay.'

"You kissed me," San-chan remembered, "back when..." back when he said he was leaving HOMRA, "back then," she finished lamely.

"Yes, I did," Shouhei confirmed.

"Why?" She asked. She should have asked back then, but for some reason, she hadn't

"Because I love you."

The words hung in the air between them. San-chan had spent over ten years trying to come to come to terms with the fact that Shouhei wanted to be friends with someone as petty as she was, she should have been astounded, but she really wasn't, she had eyes and a brain.

But what did she feel? The one thing Bandou didn't really have, had never really had, was clarity regarding her own feelings.

She froze.

Shouhei smiled gently and tilted her head up, his warm fingers under her chin, "this is the part where you say something San-chan." He reminded her gently.

"Oh," said San-chan obediently.

Shouhei chuckled and removed his hand from her chin to touch the top of her head, "not exactly the response I was hoping for but I get it. I've always known you don't feel the same."

"I went to talk to you last night when you were at that bar," said Bandou, she could never remember the name of the damn thing. It was enough that she could bloody remember how to find it. "You were talking to..." she hesitated, looking away, "that woman in the red dress."

Shouhei looked utterly confused for a second, he didn't see why him talking to her was worth mentioning, sure they must have looked friendly but that was because they _were_ friends. Why was San-chan making an expression that looked like she was in pain over him talking to-

Then Shouhei understood, he wanted to laugh a little bit but while he found the misunderstanding slightly amusing, he didn't think San-chan's pain was funny at all.

"That was Saya, San-chan, my, _our,_ friend from Elementary School, we were out drinking in celebration. She just got engaged."

"Oh," said San-chan again, Saya, she remembered Saya, they'd been kind of friends when they were young, the first and last time she'd seen Saya in adulthood was when she and Shouhei had been beaten to a bloody pulp trying to rescue her when he first joined HOMRA.

"Oh," said San-chan, "good for her." Then she mentally said 'screw it,' leaned up and kissed Shouhei.

"I love you," she said.

Shouhei smiled and hugged her gently, "that was all I ever needed to hear. I'll follow you anywhere San-chan."

She smiled and hugged him back.

* * *

 **Done! Hope you enjoyed guys! That's it for this fanfic.**

 **Okay, I was talking with a friend of mine and we have a couple of questions, firstly; who is the hottest Scepter 4 mook: Himori Akiyama, Yujiro Benzai, Ryuho Kamo, Andy Domyoji, Tatsuya Enomoto, Daiki Fuse, Ren Goto or Akira Hidaka?**

 **And when I say 'hottest' I mean just the most aesthetically pleasing, not talking about personalities, or actions or lines, just shallow physical appearance. Please drop me a review and tell me which one you like most, it would mean a lot to me and totally help us settle this disagreement once and for all!**

 **Also, which of the HOMRA mooks do you find most attractive: Shouhei Akagi, Saburota Bandou, You Chitose, Masaomi Dewa, Eric Solt or Kouske Fujishima? Same as before guys, just talking about their looks and if you could drop me a review or PM me and let me know that would be great. Thanks.**

 **And lastly, who is the most attractive character overall? There's a poll for this on my profile page so if you could vote and/or review and leave me your opinion that would help so much.**

 **Hope you enjoyed guys, see you next fic hopefully. Bye!**


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